Guests of Honor
by Lucillia
Summary: During a festival to celebrate Konoha's surviving its first Winter, the founders bring in a group of people from another universe where it's the future already. Things don't go quite as planned.
1. Lee Goes Pee

As the cherry blossoms danced in the breeze, the people of Konoha sighed in relief. Despite a number of supply shortages, and a freak blizzard that was highly unusual for the region, Konoha had survived its first winter. When it was clear that the warm weather would hold, the two founders of the village who were waiting for Konoha to survive its first year before selecting a leader had declared that there would be a week-long festival taking place around the Vernal Equinox.

"I think we should do something really special for the festival." Tobirama said. "I've got it! Let's have that Uzumaki woman make a seal that'll bring people from the future here so they can tell us how the village turns out several generations down the line!"

"Time travel is forbidden." Hashirama said. "It was one of the first laws laid down by the Sage of the Six Paths."

"There's way's around that." Tobirama said. "Do you remember that lecture by that crazy professor who stopped by our camp, and taught those really bizarre lessons about other universes, and how he'd told us that as well as there simultaneously being an everywhere, there was also an everywhen happening all at the same time?"

"Yeees." Hashirama slowly said, as he remembered the odd guy with the messy gray hair, piercing green eyes, and rather odd scar on his forehead.

"Well then, we can simply have the Uzumaki pull a group of people at random from a world where Konoha's already been around for a long time." Tobirama said eagerly.

"That doesn't sound like too bad an idea. I'll go ask Mito-chan if she thinks she could do it in time for the festival." Hashirama replied as he turned to do just that.

&!&!&!&!&

"What's this surprise you've got in store for us?" Madara asked on the day of the festival. He didn't like surprises, especially when there were Senju involved.

"You'll see." Tobirama said mysteriously.

That evening, as people settled out on a wide lawn snacking and waiting in anticipation to see what their leaders and the Uzumaki woman had in store for them, Hashirama and Madara stepped forward to address the crowd.

"And now for our main event," Hashirama said. "We will be bringing guests of honor from a world where Konoha has been in existence for more than fifty years!"

Madara tried not to look too startled at this while Hashirama's liaison from the Uzumaki clan activated the seal she had been preparing for the last few weeks.

There was a collective awww from the crowd when the "Guests of Honor" appeared. Madara turned to look behind him to see that thirteen people had arrived, and that twelve of them were between the ages of two and three with the thirteenth being no older than thirteen. Based on the surprised look that Hashirama was quickly hiding, this had not been what the man had expected.

"As you can see," Madara said, being a good ninja, and therefore able to rapidly adapt to a rapidly changing situation with aplomb as if it had been planned all along. "They are young at this point, much as our village is young."

"What's your name little fella?" Madara asked in a rather paternal tone of voice as he picked up a rather adorable looking blond child with rather cute whisker marks on its cheeks that was sure to garner a positive reaction from the crowd and help place him ahead in the running when it was time to select a Hokage during the election in June.

The child's eyes turned red, and its pupils became slit rather than round. The whisker marks on the child's cheeks grew thicker and more feral looking somehow. The child's already sharp teeth turned into fangs, and the boy grew claws.

**"Madara!"** the child howled in animalistic fury, in a tone of voice that promised pain and suffering as it clawed at his hands. **"As soon as I am freed of this vessel, I shall have my vengeance! You and the rest of your miserable clan will suffer as I crush you under my claws for your unforgivable arrogance!"**

The entire crowd stared at him in stunned shock as the children who had been brought to their world cowered behind the scarred boy who looked to be about twelve or thirteen years old who was the oldest in the group whom Uzumaki Mito had fetched.

"Exactly what did you piss off?" Hashirama asked, summing up the thoughts of the crowd as Madara dropped the demonic child which promptly bit his leg, sinking its fangs deep into his calf.

"Not a clue." he replied.

"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said, choosing to ignore the fact that the village's co-founder was being mauled by a toddler that was doing its level best to murder him.

"What's your name little fella?" Hashirama asked one of the children who were cowering behind the pre-teen, taking great care not to pick it up in case it turned out to be another demon in disguise.

"Lee!" the child who looked to be about three chirped. "An' I went pee!"

"Yes you did." Hashirama deadpanned, choosing to ignore the wet stains going down the legs of the boy's trousers and the puddle beneath his feet which was rapidly soaking into the earth.

"And who might you be?" Hashirama asked the boy who looked to be about twelve or thirteen who was wearing a Konoha hitai-ate, hoping he'd have better luck with him despite the fact that he was shaking in terror and staring at the diminutive blond who was still savaging Madara in horror.

Rather than reply, the boy fainted when the blond demon child clawed at a very sensitive area of Madara's anatomy. Fortunately for Madara's prospects of reproducing in the future, the man had made a habit of wearing protection in case someone tried to get a cheap shot in when he least expected it.


	2. The Exorcism Was Successful I Take It?

Hashirama did his best to smile for the stunned crowd as he pried the blond demon child off of a bleeding Madara and told Mito to get rid of the brats. Mito did so, presumably sending them back to their own world where the demon child could terrorize someone else. This had been a complete fiasco.

"Mito dear, do you think you could perhaps retool the seal to say, pick up a different group from another world in a couple of days?" Hashirama asked once things were over and the crowd drifted back to their homes chatting about that night's little snafu.

Despite the initial setback, the idea of bringing people from a future Konoha had merit. If he could pick up a sane group who would be willing to share their experiences in a future Konoha, people would forget last night's disaster and all would be well. He himself had a burning desire to know how the village turned out, despite the fact that it was inhabited by possessed children.

Three nights later, against his better judgement, Madara once again stood in front of a crowd that was waiting for people from another world to arrive. The crowd was a bit more wary this time, and a good number of them looked to be armed in case another demon bent on revenge turned up. The vast majority of those who were armed were Uchiha.

"And now for the event you've all been waiting for." Madara said, being the one to speak this time. "Hashirama's going to commit another act of stupidity, and summon more people from a future Konoha. This time, they'll be from a Konoha where it is now at least sixty years into the future."

After a brilliant flash of light that he could practically feel hit him flared up behind him, the crowd started snickering, with some openly laughing despite the possible danger of the situation. He turned around to see what had so amused them this time.

The Uzumaki had summoned the same damn group as the last time, except they were about ten years older than they were the last time. The scarred boy was now a grown man, and the toddlers that had surrounded him three nights earlier were now teenagers who all wore Konoha hitai-ate. The cause of the laughter were the two boys who were on the ground trying and failing to untangle themselves from a rather compromising position. The two boys were swearing profusely as they struggled to rise. All of the girls in the group were staring at the scene, and blushing furiously as they lost themselves in some undoubtedly perverted fantasies.

When the boys finally stood up, Madara found himself looking down at a face that had haunted his nightmares every time he closed his eyes. The demon child who was dressed in a most horrendous looking orange and blue outfit stared at him blankly as if he didn't have a clue who he was, rather than attacking.

"Where are we?" the scarred man asked as soon as the scuffle between the demon and the only Uchiha in the group was over, as he warily studied his surroundings.

"Konoha. More specifically a Konoha that would be identical to the Konoha you live in, but more than sixty years in your past." Hashirama replied in a tone that was meant to put the man and his companions - including Lee who went pee when he was three - at ease. "If I may ask, could you please introduce yourselves."

"Introduce ourselves?" the man who looked as if he didn't entirely believe Hashirama's statement asked warily.

"You know, name, age, ranking in the village, hobbies, likes, dislikes, dreams for the future, that kind of thing." Hashirama replied.

"Could you go first to show us how it's done?" one of the females in the group, a girl with atrocious pink hair, asked.

"Sure." Hashirama said smiling. "My name is Senju Hashirama, I'm not entirely sure how old I am because someone lost my birth records, and nobody can agree when I was born besides sometime in October or November. I'm the Head of the Senju Clan. I like growing bonsai trees, wood sculpting, and sparring with my brother Tobirama. I don't like war or being woken up at an insanely early hour with a Suiton Jutsu. My dream for the future is for Konoha to be a place where anyone would be proud to live."

Madara snickered at how thick the Senju was laying it on for the villagers and their new Guests of Honor. The people from the "Future" seemed to be lapping it up as if they worshiped the guy or something.

"I believe I'll go next then." the man with the scar across his nose who had medium length brown hair pulled back into a ponytail who looked to be concealing a number of injuries based on how stiffly he was standing said. "My name's Umino Iruka. I'm twenty-two years old, and a Chunin. I like visiting hot springs and eating ramen at Ichiraku's. There are a number of things I don't like, including traitors who pretend to be my friend. I hope to see my students succeed as Shinobi of the Leaf and outlive me."

"Which of you would care to go next?" Hashirama asked.

With the exception of one boy who muttered "Troublesome", a Hyuuga boy with hair that was nearly as long as his, and the Uchiha boy who seemed to be lost in his own little world, the entire group eagerly raised their hands. Two of the children hopped in place eagerly demanding to be called on first. One of the two was obviously an Inuzuka, and the other was the demon possessed child who had mauled Madara three nights earlier.

"You." Madara said, pointing at the demon possessed child in hopes of avoiding another mauling.

"My name's Uzumaki Naruto!" the blond boy eagerly shouted. "I'm twelve, and I'm a Genin! My hobbies are gardening and pranking people! I like Ramen! I especially like it when Iruka-sensei treats me to ramen at Ichiraku's! I don't like the three minute wait for my noodles to be ready when I have instant ramen! My dream for the future is to become Hokage!"

The group who had come with the demon possessed Uzumaki boy reacted to this introduction with amusement and disdain. There was some relief from Madara and the gathered crowd when the boy didn't react violently to this. They didn't want to see the festival turn into a bloodbath.

"The exorcism was successful I take it." Hashirama said when the Uzumaki child stopped speaking.

"Exorcism?" the scarred man named Iruka asked.

"So, your Naruto wasn't possessed by a demon that's hell bent on getting revenge on Madara and the rest of the Uchiha clan for something Madara did?" Hashirama asked.

The scarred man looked uneasy at this for some reason. The Uzumaki child didn't look too happy about something either, and was clutching his stomach. The rest of the group turned to stare at the boy. The Uchiha boy eyed the Uzumaki warily, and the boy who had muttered "Troublesome" earlier had a shocked look on his face for all of ten seconds before he muttered "Troublesome" again and lost interest.

"N-No. O-Of course not. W-Why would you think that?" the man named Iruka stammered while giving a strained smile that was meant to be reassuring.

"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said, when he noticed the crowd's restlessness. "Would someone else care to introduce themselves?"


	3. Lee Goes Pee In A Tree

The kids all eagerly raised their hands at this point, and the Inuzuka once more jumped in place demanding to be picked.

"You." Madara said as he pointed to the Inuzuka to get the introduction out of the way before the brat gave him a headache with his antics, which he was sure would get worse the longer the boy was ignored.

The Inuzuka were far too much like the dogs they fought alongside, and this boy was no exception. The brat was clearly an easily excitable creature like one of those springy little terriers that leap several feet into the air with each bound and try to lick your face on the way down. This kid looked more like a biter than a licker though, and he didn't want his nose bitten off. Literally or metaphorically.

"My name's Inuzuka Kiba and this is..." the boy started trailing off when his hand reached a spot above his head and found it empty. "Akamaru? Akamaru? Where's Akamaru? What have you bastards done with Akamaru? !"

Hashirama turned and gave the Uzumaki who was clearly his girlfriend despite what he said to everyone a panicked look.

"I only summoned humans, sorry." the Uzumaki replied.

This fiasco was much better than the last one, and it wasn't him who was taking it up the...Well, the damn Senju was getting the fallout rather than him this time.

"Is there an Inuzuka in the crowd?" Hashirama asked as he restrained the now furious Inuzuka boy who'd charged him with a Mokuton technique. "I'm going to need someone to calm him down until we send him home."

One of the members of the group from the Inuzuka clan who had been sitting near the back of the crowd stepped forward. There was about a minute of sniffing between the boy and the man, and the boy calmed down after another minute or so. When the boy was finally released, he calmly followed the man over towards the rest of his clan, shooting Hashirama and the Uzumaki baleful looks on occasional intervals along the way.

"I think mom has a couple of your weapons." the boy said to the man who had come forward as he sat down next to the man amidst the Inuzuka who were already sniffing him.

"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said with a fixed smile.

"Why don't you introduce yourself?" Hashirama said as he pointed to a boy with an atrocious bowl cut that was dressed in a bright green unitard who was hopping about in place.

"Not to be Unyouthful but," the boy said "Can you direct me to the nearest toilet?"

"Sure Lee." Hashirama said with a rather tight smile upon realizing exactly who the boy was, "Down the road a ways, next to the park, you'll come across a big tree. Knock on it three times, and if it's unoccupied, a door will appear."

"And, once again, Lee goes pee, this time in a tree." Madara said, laughing at the reaction this got from the Hokage who had twice picked that child only to be embarrassed.

"Actually," a girl with her hair in a pair of buns who was wearing a pink shirt said. "Gai-sensei gave us some sort of foreign dish called 'Chilli' for lunch. Lee had triple helpings, and I think it disagreed with him."

Madara, who'd had experience with the rather fiery dish of beans meat and spices that came from Demon Country rapidly paled. He'd once eaten seventeen bowls of the Extra Hot 'n Spicy version of the stuff on a dare, and had vowed Never Again. It was amazing the stuff Izuna could get him to do back when he was alive.

"Someone cut down that tree once Lee's done with it! Better yet, burn it!" Madara exclaimed.

"Um, excuse me, but how do you know Rock Lee's name?" the Chunin Iruka asked, trying and failing to hide his suspicion of the people who had summoned him and the kids that surrounded him to their world.

"This is the second time we managed to get your group when we summoned people from what would essentially be our future." Hashirama confessed. "The first time we did so, you were about twelve or thirteen, and the kids were all two or three."

"Ah, I see." the man named Iruka said.

"So, who would like to introduce themselves next?" Hashirama said as if he were pretending that that whole incident with Lee who did more than pee in a soon to be dead tree hadn't happened.

The group raised their hands excitedly, barring those who had been introduced, and the three who weren't interested.

"How about him?" Madara said, pointing at the only Uchiha in the group.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke." the boy who looked a bit like Izuna, but wore an expression that was more suited to Madara, said. "I'm twelve, and I'm a Genin. There are few things I like and many things I dislike. My goal, no my ambition is to restore my clan and kill a certain someone."

"Restore your clan? !" Madara exclaimed as his hand moved towards his trusty kunai Stabby-san which he hadn't gone anywhere without since he was three. "You Senju bastard! I knew you were up to no good when you offered peace! Now, I have proof!"

"Actually," the tall, long haired, Hyuuga boy said before the crowd got caught up in another one of the legendary Hashirama vs. Madara fights and some innocent bystanders got killed. "The Uchiha Clan Head's older son went insane and slaughtered the entire clan by himself."

The entire crowd was stunned by this statement. Hashirama looked to be the most bowled over however. Madara wasn't quite as surprised that that had happened, as there had been a few times he'd wanted to strangle everyone in his family himself. He'd never actually gone through with it, though he had killed that cousin of his during what was supposed to be a friendly spar when the man and his friend started making some nasty comments on his and Izuna's mother's sexual preferences in relation to animals, and had nearly smothered his cousin Hikari with his pillow when the man wouldn't stop snoring on a long escort mission.

"Well then, good for him." Madara said, calming down. "If he's still alive, he should be the one restoring the clan. Now, if I may ask, who are you?"

"I'm Hyuuga Neji." the long haired Hyuuga boy said in a near emotionless tone.

"I'm thirteen, and what he said, minus the restoring the clan bit." Neji said, pointing at the Uchiha who was determined to be the avenger despite the fact that he was obviously outclassed, based on what little he'd heard of the man who had slaughtered the Uchiha. The kid, well both of those kids actually, clearly had issues.

"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said to the crowd that had remained because they couldn't bring themselves to leave. The events of the evening so far had been like watching a train wreck, and nobody could bring themselves to miss any of it in-case something more interesting happened later and they missed it by leaving early.


	4. Homeward, er, Somewhere Bound

"So, who would like to introduce themselves next?" Hashirama asked.

The group all raised their hands. Hashirama picked a young girl in a red dress who had pink hair. Naturally pink hair, despite the fact that naturally pink hair was _unnatural._

"My name's Haruno Sakura." the girl said with a bright blush. "I'm twelve, and I'm a Genin. I like..." the girl turned to the Uchiha boy and blushed even more furiously. "My dream is..." the girl turned to the Uchiha boy again, squealing loudly this time, undoubtedly lost in some sort of fantasy that involved her being married to the Uchiha boy or something along those lines. "I don't like Naruto!" the girl yelled passionately.

Hashirama looked back and forth between the Uchiha boy and the pink haired girl a couple of times. Then, without warning, he grabbed the pink haired girl and the Uchiha boy and shunshined away with them. He returned about five minutes later, looking slightly disheveled as if he'd just been in a fight.

"Don't say I never did anything for the Uchiha." Hashirama said smugly.

"Where are my students?" Umino Iruka asked, a hard and threatening look crossing his face as he pulled out a kunai, knowing he was outmatched but prepared to give his life for his students if need be.

"If the Uchiha boy has half a brain, they're getting a start on restoring the Uchiha clan right now." Hashirama said. "I'm reasonably certain that the pink haired girl knows what to do if the boy doesn't."

Iruka looked stunned at this. "But, they're too young..." he said.

"What do you mean too young?" Madara asked. He'd already been married by the time he was the Sasuke boy's age. Of course it had been a political marriage, and he hadn't really done much with his wife before she ended up dying on the battlefield during a fight with a clan that had settled in Lightning country recently when she took a blow meant for him, but still, he'd already been married, and it had been implied that he'd been expected to have children to go along with that marriage.

"Moving on." Hashirama said through clenched teeth. "Would anyone else care to either introduce themselves or help the Uchiha rebuild their clan, or both?"

The remaining boys in the group kept their hands down since that question appeared to be a trap to them, and only two of the three remaining girls raised their hands at this point.

"You, the Yamanaka," Hashirama said. "Introduction, clan rebuilding, or both?"

"Take me to Sasuke-kun!" the girl exclaimed. "I'm going to prove that true love prevails and have more babies than Forehead!"

Hashirama picked up the Yamanaka girl in order to carry her off to wherever he'd stashed the pink haired creature and the Uchiha boy, causing a number of men in the crowd to get nosebleeds as they pictured what would soon be happening to a certain guy who was getting two women who were desperate to have his children at once.

"Oh, hell no!" Iruka and Madara yelled at the same time, Iruka drawing his weapon once more, despite the fact that he was still outclassed.

"Why not?" Hashirama asked.

"Yamanaka Inoichi will do worse than kill me if I let something happen to his daughter." Iruka said.

"We tried mixing with the Yamanaka before. Let's just say that the results had to be exterminated for the safety of the world." Madara said at the same time.

"Well then, moving on." Hashirama said as he dropped the Yamanaka girl and pushed her back towards the group.

"Would you look at that," Madara said, pretending to look at a non-existent watch in a desperate attempt to end this disaster before something worse than the near destruction of all life as everyone knew it happened. "We're all out of time. Someone go get whoever the hell that kid was and the pink haired girl, and go send them all home."

"But they haven't all introduced themselves." Hashirama said as he watched Mito stare at something the demon possessed Uzumaki was drawing in horror.

"Don't care." Madara said. So far, he and his clan had both had been humiliated, and he wanted this all to be over.

"Fine." Hashirama said before turning to retrieve the Uchiha boy, the pink haired girl, and Lee who was presumably still using the poor tree.

A couple minutes later, they were back, and the Uchiha boy who was now sobbing had latched onto the teacher.

"She...She raped me!" the boy wailed.

The pink haired girl that had been sent off with the Uchiha turned to look at the Yamanaka girl with a very satisfied look on her face.

"Well then, um, it's time to say good-bye to our new friends, and um...moving on." Hashirama said awkwardly.

The group was all gathered together and ushered into the seal that would return them to their home, the demon possessed Uzumaki who had been having a conversation with Mito about seals being the last of them.

"So, if I do this..." the demon possessed blond Uzumaki said as he poked at the seal that the group was herded into in order to be sent back to their world.

Mito managed to get out a yell of "No! Not..." before there was a brilliant flash of light that didn't look quite right and the group vanished.

"Oh...dear." Hashirama said when the group departed.

"Not our problem." Madara said before turning to leave and go get drunk.


	5. One Last Try

Iruka had moved to sit down, since there was nothing else to do. Despite the fact that he had done his best to help keep Naruto here where it was safe and where the Akatsuki couldn't get him and complete Madara's nefarious plot, the boy had gone off to face Madara in battle. He wished him, and the Kumo Jinchuriki Killer B luck. They were going to need it.

Iruka ended up falling backwards instead of sitting, as the ground beneath him had vanished and been replaced with a swirling vortex...

On the battlefield, Naruto stood across from Tobi regaining his breath. He had pulled all of the Chakra receivers from the biju whose former Jinchuriki had become Tobi's Six Paths. Tobi had made some sort of speech about all existences becoming unimportant, but he was barely paying attention. He was more focused on winning and saving his friends, and everyone else for that matter.

In between one breath and the next, a vortex came out of nowhere and swallowed him up. Based on the shock Tobi showed in his body language, he hadn't been the one who had caused it.

In a different place from Naruto, Sasuke had been in a battle with Kabuto, his brother who had been brought back by the Edo Tensei by his side. As he leapt forward to land a blow on the creature who barely resembled the human he had once been, a swirling vortex swooped beneath him and swallowed him whole.

Sakura, Kiba, Shino, Hinata, Neji, TenTen, Lee, Shikamaru, Chouji, and Ino had all been racing towards the battlefield in the hopes of coming to Naruto's aid when the swirling vortex appeared and swallowed them all whole.

Meanwhile, in another world:

The closing ceremonies for the week-long festival were taking place. Hashirama and Madara once again stood before a gathered crowd which was excitedly waiting for the expected show with a mix of dread and anticipation.

"Against our better judgement, since no actual harm has befallen us, we've decided to try this one last time." Hashirama said. "Again, I give you a group of people from a Konoha where it is the future. This time, they'll come from a world where it is just a little over seventy years from now."

There was a brilliant flash of light, and thirteen people fell to the ground in the center of Mito's seal.

"What the...Where am I?" one of the people near the bottom of the pile said.

"Naruto!" almost everyone else in the pile exclaimed happily, the only exception being the Uchiha who was crushed beneath the Uzumaki boy.

When the group disentangled themselves from each-other, it was revealed that they were the same exact group that had been summoned two times before, but they were a few years older than they had been the last time. With the exception of the man with the scar across his nose, they were all approaching their late teens, rather than just entering them.

"And, as you can see, Hashirama just doesn't know when to quit while he's ahead, or even just quit." Madara said, calling the attention of the entire group to him.

"Madara!" the demon possessed Uzumaki yelled before charging at him with the rest of the group following closely behind, arming themselves as they did so.

"Save me Stabby-san!" Madara yelled as he pulled out the trusty kunai he'd kept since he was a wee tot before throwing it at the leader of the pack and shooting off for the hills at a high rate of speed. The demon possessed Uzumaki easily dodged the kunai and raced after the Uchiha, close on the man's heels the entire way, with the rest of the pack following behind, all intent on murdering the Uchiha, all, including the Uchiha boy.

"What did he piss off?" Hashirama and Tobirama both said at the same time as they watched Madara head for the hills with thirteen angry ninja following close behind.


End file.
